等

等，

是一个最残忍的考验。

就比如说，

等巴士到，等某人载，或者是等东西吃。。。

但是，

承诺等待一个人，

那才是真正的考验。

今天突然有个觉悟，

能为一个值得你等的人而等他/她，

那叫做考验。

有对情侣，

开始时，那男原是没打那女生的主意。

但久而久之，

那男的发现他喜欢上她，

于是就追了她，最后她接受了他，

就这样成了一对情侣。

在过程当中，

就有些了误会，

男的误会女的，

就误会她以为那女的就不喜欢他，

对，

那女的之前的确喜欢的不是他，

但她最后发现，

与其喜欢一个他根本不喜欢她的人，

不如珍惜现在她没喜欢过的人而喜欢她的人。

可惜的是，

那男的并不知道这一切。

直到有一天，

他工作的地方，

突然爆炸，

那男的为了救那女的，

就叫她赶快跑，

就这样，

那男的就在这场爆炸中受了严重的伤，

甚至还昏迷到连危险期都还没过。

于是她就很难过。

虽然男的不知道这女的已经全心全意的喜欢他了，

他也还误会着她

但他还是很顾他女朋友的安全，

叫她先离开，

结果还受伤，

可见得，

他是很爱她的。

因为他毕竟辛辛苦苦地争取到她的。

在她的男友还在昏迷当中，

她就看到一个短片，

是这男生拍的，

准备想她求婚的。。

这女生看了短片后，

就说了一句：“我会等你的。”

从这，

我就突然想到，

我也会等你的，

因为这几年来，

我才发现到，

原来我应该等的人早已出现了，

只是我错过了。

所以现在，

我会等你的。。。

眼泪的的喜怒哀乐

眼泪，

可以有很多种。

但是，

你有没有想过，

眼泪的喜怒哀乐，

它的存在，

代表着什么意义呢？？

我在想，

人会掉眼泪，

因为他/她有感情；

但直到最近我才觉悟到，

人会掉眼泪，

因为他/她改变了。

不知不觉，

今天的我，

竟然看了一套戏而掉了眼泪。

以前的我，

无论那套戏有多悲伤，

我都不会掉下眼泪。

我才发现到，

原来我真的变了。

不是在夸张，也不是在嚣张，

而是出发于内心的感触。

对，

我和前女友分手时，

也曾掉过眼泪，

但那时是因为某些事故的发生才会这样。

我曾经掉过很多次的眼泪，
但这一次，
是真的出于我的内心。
就连我几时变了，
我也不知道。

所以说，

人是会变的。

P.S:今天看了法证先锋才考试。。呵呵

DOWN

10.40

This 4 significant figures number

makes my day drop down till max...

coursemate told me:

"can check the organic test mark already"

I was like:

"ok,afterall,i already know what kind of mark i will get!"

when i opened up my labby and checked it,

this 4 significant figures number appear on the screen...

BUT

that's not the point

The point is

I HAD READ AND DO NOTES

why i still can't score??!!

I am very disappointed,

i still revise before the test 

and yet

I STILL GET IT WRONG!!!

"TAN CHEE HAO,

what are u thinking right now??!!

you want the exact situation happened again in sem 1??"

I never blame anything,

i just blame myself for not giving much effort...

hope i still gt chance to pull back my carry marks in test 2..

GOD BLESS ME

suddenly saw this in facebook 

and

i thinked it was meaningful so shared out at here:

单身的原因 < SHARED >

越长大，越难和另一个人在一起。
...


不是因为条件。还是有人喜欢你，你也活得比以前更好，不再那么任性，更像在投资的艺术品。

也不是因为对爱情死心。在KTV突然听到的某首歌，会让你不自禁模糊了视线。一些场景，一些气息，始终无法忘怀。朋友帮你介绍时，你也会满心期待。

却依然单身。闭上眼睛吹蜡烛的时候，总是希望身边有另一个人一起许愿。一些客气的场合，有人来搭讪，话题围绕着你单身的原因。而他们最后给出的结论是，你太挑了。你在心里面笑，所以其他人都不挑？

其实你自己知道，为什么不能好好谈一场恋爱。就是因为，你太清楚自己是怎样的一块料，所以不会再轻而易举把自己交出去。就像是，有一天你发现跌倒以后的伤口，会开始留下疤痕，于是走路时不敢再大步跨出去。

因为，你惯性太强、记性太好。认识一个人很简单，忘记一个人很困难。你曾经心满意足的闭上眼睛，让另一个人带你去任何地方，最后却差点回不来。所以不能再失去方向感。

于是你就变得胆小了。以前喜欢恋人有幽默感，现在更在乎安全感。以前打电话找不到人就拼命的打，现在发了短信没回应，即使心中有波动也可以忍住。以前最有兴趣的话题是对方的过去，现在会先关心这份感情有没有未来。

所以，空暇的时候，你宁愿和朋友在烈日下逛街，也不愿让对方觉得自己很在乎什么。你安慰自己，有朋友就够了，一个人生活也很好。你忘记了当另一个人恋人的感觉，当那个人出现时，你开始慌张、害怕。

只是，你并不是一定要单身，就像你也没计划过一定用哪只手写字。不过是，既然如此了那就这样吧。你想要有人一起旅行，一起看电影。你想和那个人说自己准备好 了，只是没有勇气，请对方多一点耐心。你想说不再需要太多惊喜，在心里等的是一份相守以望的感情，抬起头来相视而笑，安心的生活，如此而已。

我会告诉我自己：

Never make the permanent decisions based 

on temporary feelings AGAIN！

Raining

Few days of continuous raining

makes my day feel bored and sleepy..

BUT

what can i do about it??

Yesterday just had sing K with my form six friends

not many of them 

but it was like in the concert..

TOO HIGH 

until the last few songs were ROCK songs..

It was fun and funny

when all of us run of pitch and tone...

We not only sing english songs and chinese songs

More importantly,

WE SANG KOREAN SONGS!!!!

I feel very stressed in this semester,

and i couldn't tell the reason why.

Maybe is because I didn't manage my time well

until many things are so packed together..

test,dance practise,assignments,dance concert(coming) or even revising

make me feel that everything was passing too fast...

Sometimes,

i feel very lonely

after the first breakup

Well,i guess that was normal for every guy who had broke up

and 

usually will get this kind of advice

"broke up already then find another one,no point getting sad here"

but 

they do not understand what is the real meaning of

"GETTING A NEW GF"

haha..

i guessed i talk too much about this..

maybe i am too rush for having a relationship

and i still cannot handle it...

"sigh"

Seriously NEED a break from all of these

thinking of going vacation 

but it seems quite impossible coz i don't even have time to go back hometown

AND YET

i need to manage my time well again...

ARGH!!!

stress pls go away from me......

情伤

几年都过去了，

前两天才知道你已经有新的男友。。

真的替你感到高兴，

真的。。。

你一定要比以前更幸福哦

情伤，

不是兜着玩的。。

我现在的心情真的很复杂。。

我不知道应该怎么想。。

我来到大学，

认识了一位女生。。

现在算是我的好朋友。。

她告诉我，

“不要因为你看到你的朋友有了伴侣，

你就也想要。。”

想想回去，

她说的一点都没错，

因为这是我当初犯下的错误，

还好有她的提醒，

也谢谢她约我出来发泄（跳舞）

真的很舒服，对吗？（在问你啊！！）

哈哈。。

我想通了，

我不能因为我的欲望，

而去伤害“另一个”无辜的女生，

因为她对我来说，

是个可爱无比，及天真活泼的女生

所以我要克制我自己的欲望。。。

对不起了，

早期对你说的东西，

要画上句号了。。

有时候，

做人不能太跟着你的原则，

去做一件事，尤其是很重要的事。。

要以你理智的想法，去实行那件事。。

对，

你会有时怕你受伤后，

会在得回同样的伤。。。

这就是人生，

不要因为害怕，

却让你错失了人生精彩的一面。。

我希望，

有天你会变得更坚强，

更勇敢。。

赠给Syd.LYY....

random

WOW
since when the blog setting already changed??
(it means that it had been long time for me to update my blog,hehe)

OK,
since one of my readers requested me to update my blog(coz she is one of my best friends lar)..
let's just make it very informal blogging....

One year had past since the first day i entered my Uni,
when i realized it had passed for one whole year and looking all the juniors so eager to enter Uni that day,
there was a few scenes just reflected on my mind,
telling me that i had finish my first year in Uni...

Dance:
Nevertheless,it has been an interesting year for me as i get to know a lot of friends,especially dancemates..
I had joined the dance club in my UNI and i gained a lot from there..
Now i had showed myself that even i'm not a dancer at all as my background,i still can prove that i am able to do something i never try before and i did it very well...
well,i don't know whether i had impressed other people on my achievements in dance,but one thing for sure,I HAD SURPASS MY OWN TARGET:that is making anything impossible to possible in just one year...
Now,everybody in my UNI knew me as a dancers and i will keep improving myself from time to time...
I had performed a few times and even solo in front of hundreds of people.,now fear is no more an obstacle for me to express myself in the form of dance and i finally found a way to telling people that i am happy,sad,lonely or even angry by just dancing.

One of my performances recently by doing STREETDANCE name as POPPIN

Academically:
Well,nothing much i can say about it coz i know what should i do and what i need to do from time to time..
Nowadays,my parents will be always my inspiration..
Recently i just realized that i get very closed to my mother,even the time i had accident on my first day of lecture,i never thought twice at all...I just picked up my phone and call my mum at the first time...
Now,I trying to balance my time by giving my studies and dance an equal management of time...

Relationship:
Still single...
quite of my friends telling me to give up on her...
but i just couldn't do it although already past for long time...
I think i only can bear with her in my mind...
I tried on other people before,
but is useless..
Hope she will understand like i do....

I think that's all for the blogging,or else someone will scold me writting an essay instead of blogging,....
take care for those who reads and we might be meeting soon......

The end of my first year

Finally,I had finished my second sem and complete my course for one year.In this 2nd sem,i had learnt a lot of things that I never been done before.Cooking spaghetti,learning more dance and manage my social skills,all of these I realized that I had done in this sem.

But something happen indeed,hurt me a lot after I knew it,and is just recently in my final exam.After I knew the thinking from her,i just realized all the while she just don't believe me.For me,i think is already gone.So let the bygones be the bygones and I shall have the courage to get my second hug from other people.

This sem,i had a lot of fun and enjoy,in outing and dancing.In dance class,I had been selected as secretary for the new committee.In outing,I had exceeded the number of time that I should be,luckily did not interfere with my studies progress.My second performance,Hari Belia was a success and I really enjoy with my dancing groups.Next is dance party farewell.I had a good time at there and thanks to the organizers.Outing??of course a lot of activities had been carried out,like snooker(my favourite),movies and sing K of course.I never stop enjoy the moment.

Studies??err,dun even think of talking about it.It was totally different from what I have been imagined after final in first sem.I had distorted study schedule,all of the presentation(done my own even in under group) and MORE WORST,I had became lazy.However,I still manage to keep up my carry marks and hit the target,and that was closed coz i never expected that.

My hope??improve my dance skills to a certain level and continue fight for my future.That's all for my hope for next sem.Other than that,just follow the flow of nature.Because I believe in strong wills.

Happy holiday to all the university students...

Busy Sem

After for so long,i finally back,back to write my blog..hehe....many friends asking me why i did not update my blog for son long.The reason is I really really busy in this sem.A lot of performances and presentations had been done just because of this sem.Plus i met a damn "SEI FAN CHEONG" lecturer who do not know how to give lecture in uni level.Haiz,don't wanna mention about her anymore.

Review back my days in this sem(coz it seems that almost end of the sem),I learned a lot of things,especially dancing.Of course,a lot of seniors were guiding me all the time and thanks to them,I had become the secretary of the modern dance class in UPM.Now,there's a few heavier burdens have lies on this new committee,that is DANCE CAMP and DANCE CONCERT,well is next sem's problems so forget about these.I had learned new  type of streetdances including breaking and popping.Popping is my favourite among those streetdances and I love it so much.I had done my first time solo performance and it was a good feedback from everyone.

From that day onwards,i promise myself i will learn harder to improve myself.That's the changes i had done after i entered UPM.I believe it is a good change.After some incident,i think I finally realized something.Something hasn't yet to come,is no point to rush for it.Now just dance and studies are my only partners,other than that,just put behind of the partners.HEHE....

Final is coming,is time to get into some serious business.Counting down the days i will get back home....Miss my family members very much...muahaha

Busy

no time for blogging,

since the last post

coz just keep busy outing..

gonna go back to UPM soon,

everything must pack in good condition,

including my study feeling...

no more hesitation...

just go for it!!

First semester result

Everybody was talking about the first semester result

Some of my friends get a good result,

they get what they want in their first sem.

I was sad coz

I did not try my best 

till

THE BEST I KNOWN BEFORE...

And

I still cannot believe that

my calculus

GET A-

this is terrifying me

and i just blank out 

when i know this result...

Overall,

is still ok

but not the best.

Next semester,

I will do my best!!!

Live for what you live for

Thought of something new and wanna share it out.Sometimes,we just don't know what we live for.Some will say they live because they wanna live.Some said they live because they are supposed to live.Some even said they are live because they can't find a reason why they cannot be lived.

Well,yesterday I just read a book.The author said that you live because you know how to bounce back when life knock you down.I am very agree to this statement coz i had been in that situation before.If counted in numbers,I had almost failed in my life for several times.But when i reconsidered back my decision,I'm very grateful that I had done a right decision and here am I,looking at the present of me.I am very thankful that God had awarded me a pair of lovely and responsible parents as my guide all the way and a considerable sister who always think for me from time to time.

So,after giving some thoughts to it,I finally found the reason what I live for.I live for my dearest people so that i can let them to live happily like me.

Thank you daddy and mummy!!!

CNY gathering

sorry for the late posting

coz just free to update my blog..

Yesterday,

was a memorable gathering and CNY visit to my F6 teachers' house

We had a lot of fun

i just realized all of my classmates,

they had changed a lot..

We all have our own life to catch up

and me??

I'm just as confident as right now

coz of "her"..^^

Here's the photo's of our gathering:

First house:Mr.Kua(my physics teacher)

Second station:Mr.How house(my math teacher)

Third station:Pn.De house(my muet teacher)

this is the pic of our F6 classmates.So many cars that day...

gathering meal by all of us...MAC Donald

Memorable

Fun 

Exciting

gathering this year..

hopefully next year will have it again....

Confident

Today is the fifth day of the Chinese New Year.Today i had went to my friend's house to meet my secondary classmates although is not fully attended by the original members of my secondary school class.When I met some of my old friends,they had changed a lot.Maybe is because I never seen them quite a long time.We had gambled a while and surprisingly i had a net won.This few years my gamble luck was always beside me,and i had net won in last few years.Well,today night will be one of my old friend's 21st birthday although already past,but today was the buffet celebration.So i went to buy his present.And finally i had bought something for him and at the same time i bought for myself as well.

Feedback from my old friends that my image had changed.Again,i felt very happy as my changed is very obvious.But,even though the situation looks maybe was in a good way,I was thinking that now the world between me and some of my form six friends are like isolated by a transparent wall.Yesterday chat with one of my old friends till almost 4.00am,she told me that no need to bother about them coz life is mine,and i should be the one who decide how my life will to be.Of course she has her problem as well,and as an old friend,i just advice her with my instinct.But i think that she will has her own solution to her problems coz she is a smart girl.

What i can feel is some of my friends that i knew,they always be,not say right beside me,but just stand in a line with me no matter what.Sometimes things are getting funny when u start to take something for granted and u started to not appreciate it.But when you had lost it,u will just remind yourself that you had did that before and regret about that.

I want to make myself become stronger,in the sense of thinking,influence,action and of course leading because i don't want to let myself to be ignored by people.Starting right now,i will change myself and grab the attention from everybody.

Chinese New Year 2012

today is the first day of Chinese New Year.I woke up very early because i need to help my mum to prepare the stuff for welcoming the prosperity god into our house.Reluctantly,i woke up with a close eyes at first.But after settled down a while,i went to have bath and started to prepare.After finished preparing,I just went back to my room and opened my laptop for pass time.

A while more,i felt hungry already and i asked my mum to prepare the "mi sua" but is in vegetarian style.After i ate it,i just continued my surfing.A while after that,i felt a bit sleepy and just laid down on my bed.Who knows,haih....i guess you all should know what happen right??

Today,i decided to wear something different since i had chose my theme this year was a bit korean style.So i had chose the first shirt i had bought on the very first time,with a little accessories that i already had since last time.And Ta-daa,this is the result of the day:

And today what had make me very happy was:The comments were so good and they were commenting that my style had a bit looks like korean style.This had made my day and i felt awesome.Actually i was hesitating whether wanna put on the hat or not,but i had give i myself a try to set my hair style,and i had chose not to wear the hat,it seems that the result is more attracting.

Today,she also went for gathering at her old house.She even go to temple and praying.Hope she will not let herself too tired and she can enjoy the holidays.

Wish everyone out there a happy dragon year and always stay healthy,...GONG XI GONG XI

Sad news

Today,i feel very sad because she(Miss Cheng) fell sick.Yesterday she told me that she already had flu but not that serious yet.So i asked her to eat medicine but she don't want to eat coz she scared of eating the medicine due to certain reason.Then i advice her to drink more water and sleep early.Until today she woke up so early to go to morning market,i was wondering when i woke up that will she tired until her illness worsens.

After some time,i just got a bad news that she fell sick already.I am sad coz i am not beside her to take care of her even though i'm not her bf yet or maybe will not be.I just want to take care of her so that she can recover soon enough to enjoy her holidays in chinese new year,In fact she told me that she have already planned the activities with her old friends in the holidays.So i pray and wish her to recover soon because two more days will be the first day of chinese new year.

I realized day by day,she had a little bit different from last time in the sense that she had become more friendly than last time.Well,she did not even realized on this matter until i let her know today.She told me something interesting today about the colour that i also not come to realize it.I had bought quite many things to her,hopefully when come to dance camp i can give it to her and she will like it.

Surprisingly,she is the first one who wish me chinese new year than anybody else,even though is my dearest friend.I am really happy because she sometimes concern about me on certain matter and i want to say thank you to her.Sometime i know it by my heart and i will just keep it,until one day i will just let her know what had she did and said before.

Sincerely hope she will recover soon and enjoy her chinese new year.PRAY HARD!!!

Because its you

Because of today,i have miss you a lot.because of today,i will have my strong thought that you are the one.And because of today,i have decided to wait for you,i will never tired to wait for you,and hope u will me give me the chance when the time had come.

Here are some of my thoughts of today.Special dedicated to you,Mis Cheng:

sarang i kut na go

to han bon do kut na go
i jen ban bok
dwe nun a pu me
no mu ji cho so
sarang ta win
ku chi ra go nan
gyol shim me so
do nun sa rang ta wi ro
shi gan nang bi an ket da go

ching u ran nyo so gi
da shi shi jak he bo ra go
o nul i ja ri e
nal bu lo ne sul te do
gi de ta win
ha na jo cha
ha ji a na so
gun de ni ol gu rul bo ja ma ja
na wa sa gwi ja go da ja go ja
ma bo be ho lin dut
i rok ke to dul go i so

ni ga ma ji mak
sa rang i ni ka
da shin mot man nal sa rang
ba ro no ni ka
na rul wan song hal sa ram
pyong seng ham ke
hal gu sa ram
ne a pum mo du
gam sa jul gu sa ram oh..

i je ya man nan go ra ni ka
jol de no chi myo nan
dwen dan go ra ni ka
ji gum kot nal gi da rin
un myong i ba ro no ran gol
no rul bon sun gan
ba ro gu sun gan i mi
a ra su ni ka

ni gyo te i su myon
yong won jo cha do mo ja ra
i sun gan bu to
gye sok ham ke
go shi po jo
mu sun ma lo ra do no rul
ot ge man du ro
no ye ma me mu nul du du ryo so
na rul ni sa ra mu ro du lyo so
sa gwi o sum me so
i rok he to dul go i so

ni ga ma ji mak
sa rang i ni ka
da shin mot man nal sa rang
ba ro no ni ka
na rul wan song hal sa ram
pyong seng ham ke
hal gu sa ram
no rul bon sun gan
ba ro gu sun gan i mi
a ra su ni ka

i bon sar me
son no pu ni ni ka
ba u ji a na do
ga sum mi a ni ka
no ya ma lo ne sa rang
pyong seng
gi da ryot don sa rang
no ha na ro do
ne gen chung bu nan sa rang
oh wo.

i je ya man nan go ra ni ka
jol de no chi myo nan
dwen dan go ra ni ka
ji gum kot nal gi da rin
un myong i ba ro no ran gol
no rul bon sun gan
ba ro gu sun gan i mi
a ra su ni ka

English Translation

Love ends, and another ends again
Sick of the repetitive pain,
I decided never to fall in love again
To stop wasting time in love

But my friend told me to try it again
Even when I was invited to come out
I wasn’t expecting anything

But as soon as I saw you
As if I’m possessed, I’m asking you out to date me without a reason, like this

Cause you’re my last love
Cause you’re the love that I will never meet again
You, who will complete me and be with me forever
You are the person who will embrace all my pain

Cause I know I finally met you
Cause I know I should never let you go
You are the fate that I’ve been waiting for till now
I knew it the moment I saw you

When I’m next to you, even forever isn’t enough
I want to be with you from this moment
I want to make you laugh with my words
Knock on your heart
Make me your person
And wanna date you
That’s why I’m talking so much like this

Cause you’re my last love
Cause you’re the love that I will never meet again
You, who will complete me and be with me forever
You are the person who will embrace all my pain

Cause you’re the only one in this life
Even without learning, my heart knows
You’re my love, the love that I’ve waited for my whole life
You alone is enough love for me

Cause I know I finally met you
Cause I know I should never let you go
You are the fate that I’ve been waiting for till now
I knew it the moment I saw you

Because of you,i just found my true happiness within you.All i can do is just wait.^^

Good mood

Today my mood swings till the peak of happiness.

Feel's great today coz something good had happen

 and

 i feel something different from someone.

I want everyday to be in this kind of mood

coz it makes me feel very comfortable

PLS GOD,MAKE HER TO FEEL AS THE SAME AS MINE..

或许

或许有一天
我会拥有

等到那一天的到来
我要好好的珍惜
我会爱护她
不会有让她胡思乱想的杂念
让她觉得很有安全感

但
可惜的是
她不知道
我会这么做
她更不知道
久而久之，
我们的关系会只是停留在朋友的阶段，
因为她不曾想过进展。

或许我只能接受，
对，我只能接受。。
因为这样我才能给到她真正的开心。。

就是要让她开心，一切都是值得

random

Today,i have a very strong missing feeling to her.And i don't know why.Guess this is how should it be when something call "different".

I read her blog today.I just realized something after she mentioned it.I knew,I am not comfort enough,not even close to have a comparison with him.He is good,better than me in studies,and even friendly than me.He knows when she sad,sick and even take a good care of her.She told me what if one day she was touched by his mighty care and concern and accept him,i just replied her one statement,i maybe not know whether she will or not,all i know is i just want to do my best to care for her.If one day she accept him,that's mean i had done my best and yet is not better than him,and i will not regret on anything.I know i had done many stupid things and make u feel that i am not that good.sometimes i also hate myself.

There's a statement from my friend:''If you love someone,not neccessary you need to have her in person,as long her heart is always a space for your love,is already enough for the person who love her."This is very true coz this already happen on me.Not even realized,i had fall in love on her.I did not tell her about this matter coz I don't know whether she even have a like on me.So I just keep it inside my heart,and because of that statement,i believe that for what i had done,is always a good thing for her and absolutely not to harm her.I don't want to repeat my mistake and force her.This time i want to learn how to respect other's people decision even though the final result is a NO.I know maybe i really not even can be in the comparison with him,and i know she should deserve the best,but i already did my best as all i could.Depends on her how she felt about her choice and feel,and all i can do is wait.

Hot

Today,

very strange feeling...

keep thinking of her

once i woke up...

just can't figured out why...

very hot day today,

just keep drinking water..

still,

i'm back to my hometown

gonna get myself suit to my hometown for one month

after that

2nd SEM will start

Far away

Walk a thousand miles
Just to see her
But she's far far away
And i'd do anything just to see her face
But she's far far away
Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again

The end of first semester of my UNI life

Yesterday was my last day in my first semester of my UNI life.Along these few months in UPM,i had get to know a lot of friends and coursemates,especially G12 members.I am so lucky that i get into kolej 12.All of the members and blockmates were very nice.Then i get to know her(Mis Lazy Bum) in this UNI,she is one of my most miracle friends,i never expect i will meet her in UPM.Last time i remember i only get to know her by facebook conversation,but when i was associated with her,i just found out her personalities.And i am very grateful coz i had met her.Thank god.

The end of first semester,i want to thank my roommate,Kok Siang,G12 members,coursemate and other UPM friends.Is very nice to meet you all,and see you all in next semester.Take care guys...

one unlucky incident

Today,I had the final revision with them for the last day before exam.They told me that they were so nervous and worried coz they think they might forget everything when in the exam.I just told them that don't panic and trust themselves.At the same time,i had my revision on biology.

But sad thing happen today,and i am really really stupid and regret.Today i was careless and forgot to bring my cellphone and umbrella when we stopped for break.Suddenly heavy rain just poured out from the sky and i was stucked in the middle of the rain.I had waited for a while for the rain to retreat however,the rain just keep fell down from the sky.Then,i did not saw clearly whether is it she crossing over on the other road,so  i just quickly rushed out in the middle of the rain.When i reached to the study place,my friends told me that she went down to give me umbrella.I was totally down and blamed myself of my stupidity.When she went up,she just told everyone:Next time i won't be so stupid go down to pass the umbrella.".I totally become more down after i heard she speak in that way.I was emo+ing whole day after that.

Today,i had told her how i feel towards her.She told me that i not care enough.And she asked me what if one day she was touched by his full care and concern.I just told her i will respect her choice and i have nothing to regret.But now i will try to let her know how much i care for her and at the same time i will let her know how important is she for me.Time will let me to have a change soon enough.

Pray for me,i will try my best,i promise.

Revising session

Just like yesterday,i had spent my whole day with her,but this time,the revising session had added in two more members,that is Mis Lee and Mis Kecil.The session was fun and we had a lot of chit-chatting as well.They seem very satisfied what i had told them.But for me,i was afraid i did mistake and just taught them wrong thing.At first i was thinking of teaching her alone,and when she said whether her friends can join in the revising session,i was hesitating a while because i scared if i teach the wrong thing,i will just make them into trouble.However,when i saw her expression of hoping me to teach her and her friends,i was reluctantly to reject her request,so i just agreed with her.Anyway,after the session,they commented that they were doing the tutorial because there is a "hint" beside them and that's me.I just told them that they lack of imaginary thinking and understanding toward the physics concept.

Thinking back,i remembered in the afternoon,i ask her whether is it she afraid that because i just meet her in two semester in this first year and the third semester she will move out and just don't want to express her own feeling.And she just thought that i was tired of waiting and told me i am impatient.I wasn't asking her for answer,i just asked her because of curiousity,nothing else.But she told me that she is not comfortable when she want to express something to me,and strangely she said only me will be in that way.I just think i can only wait,wait her for an answer.

But anyway,when i saw her so happy today after the revising session,i also feel relieved.Maybe others will think,i did not take physics in my course,i also did not take engineering,but i still can teach other people physics,so they will think that i am showing off and may lead other people to wrong ideas.But for me,if u asked me,i can help for sure i will help with all the knowledge i had.Whether you want to trust my knowledge or not is depend on you,because i know what i had learnt although my pointer wasn't that good and i did not manage to get an engineering course.Maybe i was born to be an engineer,but my fate wasn't turn me out to be an engineer.And i just accept my fate and i will continue the way i am.

Someday,i will have my day in my life.Just wait for that day.

Like

Yesterday,my sickness become worst after i got back from night market in the seri kembangan.It was nothing much similar compared to my hometown's night market but a narrow and crowded street.After i came back from there,my flu and body temperature worsen my mood and stamina.I was totally devasted and just laying down on my bed once i got into my room.Then after i took a shower,she replied my message.I bought one pack of kaya balls and thought of giving her to eat.Then when i met her,i just found out she was going out with "him".She told me she bought a new bracelet and when i saw it,it was colourful and joyful to see it.She told me she was stomachache and she took some pain killer,so she asked me to eat myself.But when i went back,after i ate my medicine i just slept like nobody business.

Today,i woke up late and i just quickly took my shower and went to sanggar.I did not saw the sms from her until  some time,she just asked me to come over at 11.00am but i already got it there,so i just do my revision for calculus.When she got it there,she just stared at me and i did not notice at all until she told me that just now i was very serious when doing revision.I was like :"Huh?is it?"Then i just taught her SHM and Solid+Fluids.I enjoyed to teach in physics because i like physics.And her friend seems know many things and just keep quiet when i explained.

After i took my calculus exam,i just continued to teach her and her friends physics.They are just playful coz i knew they are tired already.Then they just chit-chatting while doing the tutorial.they said this is the first time they sit down and do the tutorial,i was thinking last time when i was in form six,the exercise i do is like tonnes of them and suddenly envy them so much coz even less practise but still can manage to catch up just one lesson.After finish the tutorial then we just back to our hostel.She sent me a sms to thank me for herself and her friends.I just told her as long can help her,is nothing big deal.

In my thought,today was a good day for me coz can spend some quality time doing revision with her.If not,my whole day just wasted and doing nothing but sleeping.At least i still manage to do some revision before the exam although is quite hearteache after i just found out i have big mistake in that exam.

Emo+ing

Yesterday i was sad because of two matters:

First,

SICK DAY

suddenly get fever and flu from no where,

keep sneezing after my dinner

After dinner,whole body like burning.

WORST THING WAS

i had exam somemore.

So i did not revise much

and

just depend on my form six memory.

Second,

FRIEND'S MATTER

my friend suddenly send me a sms,

said her fatty(dog) had passed away.

Once i saw the message,i just quickly called to her and comfort her.

at first i was thinking,

she sure crying on that time,

and 

YES,

she was crying once she picked up my phone.

I totally no idea what should i comfort her,

all i know just talk craps,

i don't know whether what i had said is wisely to her or not,

what had crossed over my mind i just comfort her,

though i know is not comfort for her enough.

In the conversation once heard her crying sound,

i also feel sad for her.

Because the dog meant so much for her.

Hope she will recover from the incident and let the memories always be with her.

Be strong k??

^^

when i give up on you,

it means i really give up everything

and 

i will just give u a smile and said

IS OK

no matter what had happened and how it happened

Without you,

i still can sleep,eat even have my own life.

I don't care what had u think,

or rather said "THEY" think,

for me,is just a thought of u all

BUT

important thing is how i judge myself

Thanks to one of my friends,WEE SERN..

luckily in this semester,

I have this friend by my side,

who always console and consult me

on the way to see things better

he told me that the road is not always straight

but is the way u make it become straight.

THANK YOU MY FRIEND,

YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND I HAD IN THIS LIFE.

Caring

Today just had my ISLAMIC FINAL TEST,

two words can describe my performance today,

"VERY SUCKS"

Haiz,

sad sad

Today while during the conversation,

she said that i am not caring enough.

Hmm,

I was thinking that if i over caring,

exact thing will happen again as last time

coz we are still friends right now.

Unless a further relationship has happen,

I will just able to do so.

I don't want later will bring a lot of trouble to her.

So very sorry if my impression to u is still not caring enough,

coz i can't and is not i don't want.

Exam fever

today is the last day i can rest before my first final exam start.And my first exam will be organic chemistry.I just don't figured out why i just can't scored my first two test in organic chemistry,till today i just found out why.

NOT ENOUGH REVISION!!

at least today i had revised most of the organic chemistry chapters and memorize quite some of the important organic reaction.Hopefully tomorrow's test will not disappointed my effort for these few day's revision.

But i scare one thing might happen again and it is terrifying me all my life.HISTORY AND ISLAMIC FACTS is killing me.I just don't know why,once i open my TITAS book,i just cannot focus,i'm not sure whether is because of too many words and i don't like it,or is because i'm a person who do not like to read.But luckily,these few days revision and some few general questions had ease my phobia a little bit but anyway,i still feel a bit afraid of what i had read will not be tested in the exam because all the way after first test,i did not even touch on my TITAS revision and i had promised myself that next semester university course cannot be in that way anymore because i will be taking two memorizing subjects:kenegaraan and pertanian.

YES,i tell myself:ADD OIL coz first semester will be ended in few more days.