Live for what you live for

Thought of something new and wanna share it out.Sometimes,we just don't know what we live for.Some will say they live because they wanna live.Some said they live because they are supposed to live.Some even said they are live because they can't find a reason why they cannot be lived.

Well,yesterday I just read a book.The author said that you live because you know how to bounce back when life knock you down.I am very agree to this statement coz i had been in that situation before.If counted in numbers,I had almost failed in my life for several times.But when i reconsidered back my decision,I'm very grateful that I had done a right decision and here am I,looking at the present of me.I am very thankful that God had awarded me a pair of lovely and responsible parents as my guide all the way and a considerable sister who always think for me from time to time.

So,after giving some thoughts to it,I finally found the reason what I live for.I live for my dearest people so that i can let them to live happily like me.

Thank you daddy and mummy!!!

CNY gathering

sorry for the late posting

coz just free to update my blog..

Yesterday,

was a memorable gathering and CNY visit to my F6 teachers' house

We had a lot of fun

i just realized all of my classmates,

they had changed a lot..

We all have our own life to catch up

and me??

I'm just as confident as right now

coz of "her"..^^

Here's the photo's of our gathering:

First house:Mr.Kua(my physics teacher)

Second station:Mr.How house(my math teacher)

Third station:Pn.De house(my muet teacher)

this is the pic of our F6 classmates.So many cars that day...

gathering meal by all of us...MAC Donald

Memorable

Fun 

Exciting

gathering this year..

hopefully next year will have it again....

Confident

Today is the fifth day of the Chinese New Year.Today i had went to my friend's house to meet my secondary classmates although is not fully attended by the original members of my secondary school class.When I met some of my old friends,they had changed a lot.Maybe is because I never seen them quite a long time.We had gambled a while and surprisingly i had a net won.This few years my gamble luck was always beside me,and i had net won in last few years.Well,today night will be one of my old friend's 21st birthday although already past,but today was the buffet celebration.So i went to buy his present.And finally i had bought something for him and at the same time i bought for myself as well.

Feedback from my old friends that my image had changed.Again,i felt very happy as my changed is very obvious.But,even though the situation looks maybe was in a good way,I was thinking that now the world between me and some of my form six friends are like isolated by a transparent wall.Yesterday chat with one of my old friends till almost 4.00am,she told me that no need to bother about them coz life is mine,and i should be the one who decide how my life will to be.Of course she has her problem as well,and as an old friend,i just advice her with my instinct.But i think that she will has her own solution to her problems coz she is a smart girl.

What i can feel is some of my friends that i knew,they always be,not say right beside me,but just stand in a line with me no matter what.Sometimes things are getting funny when u start to take something for granted and u started to not appreciate it.But when you had lost it,u will just remind yourself that you had did that before and regret about that.

I want to make myself become stronger,in the sense of thinking,influence,action and of course leading because i don't want to let myself to be ignored by people.Starting right now,i will change myself and grab the attention from everybody.

Chinese New Year 2012

today is the first day of Chinese New Year.I woke up very early because i need to help my mum to prepare the stuff for welcoming the prosperity god into our house.Reluctantly,i woke up with a close eyes at first.But after settled down a while,i went to have bath and started to prepare.After finished preparing,I just went back to my room and opened my laptop for pass time.

A while more,i felt hungry already and i asked my mum to prepare the "mi sua" but is in vegetarian style.After i ate it,i just continued my surfing.A while after that,i felt a bit sleepy and just laid down on my bed.Who knows,haih....i guess you all should know what happen right??

Today,i decided to wear something different since i had chose my theme this year was a bit korean style.So i had chose the first shirt i had bought on the very first time,with a little accessories that i already had since last time.And Ta-daa,this is the result of the day:

And today what had make me very happy was:The comments were so good and they were commenting that my style had a bit looks like korean style.This had made my day and i felt awesome.Actually i was hesitating whether wanna put on the hat or not,but i had give i myself a try to set my hair style,and i had chose not to wear the hat,it seems that the result is more attracting.

Today,she also went for gathering at her old house.She even go to temple and praying.Hope she will not let herself too tired and she can enjoy the holidays.

Wish everyone out there a happy dragon year and always stay healthy,...GONG XI GONG XI

Sad news

Today,i feel very sad because she(Miss Cheng) fell sick.Yesterday she told me that she already had flu but not that serious yet.So i asked her to eat medicine but she don't want to eat coz she scared of eating the medicine due to certain reason.Then i advice her to drink more water and sleep early.Until today she woke up so early to go to morning market,i was wondering when i woke up that will she tired until her illness worsens.

After some time,i just got a bad news that she fell sick already.I am sad coz i am not beside her to take care of her even though i'm not her bf yet or maybe will not be.I just want to take care of her so that she can recover soon enough to enjoy her holidays in chinese new year,In fact she told me that she have already planned the activities with her old friends in the holidays.So i pray and wish her to recover soon because two more days will be the first day of chinese new year.

I realized day by day,she had a little bit different from last time in the sense that she had become more friendly than last time.Well,she did not even realized on this matter until i let her know today.She told me something interesting today about the colour that i also not come to realize it.I had bought quite many things to her,hopefully when come to dance camp i can give it to her and she will like it.

Surprisingly,she is the first one who wish me chinese new year than anybody else,even though is my dearest friend.I am really happy because she sometimes concern about me on certain matter and i want to say thank you to her.Sometime i know it by my heart and i will just keep it,until one day i will just let her know what had she did and said before.

Sincerely hope she will recover soon and enjoy her chinese new year.PRAY HARD!!!

Because its you

Because of today,i have miss you a lot.because of today,i will have my strong thought that you are the one.And because of today,i have decided to wait for you,i will never tired to wait for you,and hope u will me give me the chance when the time had come.

Here are some of my thoughts of today.Special dedicated to you,Mis Cheng:

sarang i kut na go

to han bon do kut na go
i jen ban bok
dwe nun a pu me
no mu ji cho so
sarang ta win
ku chi ra go nan
gyol shim me so
do nun sa rang ta wi ro
shi gan nang bi an ket da go

ching u ran nyo so gi
da shi shi jak he bo ra go
o nul i ja ri e
nal bu lo ne sul te do
gi de ta win
ha na jo cha
ha ji a na so
gun de ni ol gu rul bo ja ma ja
na wa sa gwi ja go da ja go ja
ma bo be ho lin dut
i rok ke to dul go i so

ni ga ma ji mak
sa rang i ni ka
da shin mot man nal sa rang
ba ro no ni ka
na rul wan song hal sa ram
pyong seng ham ke
hal gu sa ram
ne a pum mo du
gam sa jul gu sa ram oh..

i je ya man nan go ra ni ka
jol de no chi myo nan
dwen dan go ra ni ka
ji gum kot nal gi da rin
un myong i ba ro no ran gol
no rul bon sun gan
ba ro gu sun gan i mi
a ra su ni ka

ni gyo te i su myon
yong won jo cha do mo ja ra
i sun gan bu to
gye sok ham ke
go shi po jo
mu sun ma lo ra do no rul
ot ge man du ro
no ye ma me mu nul du du ryo so
na rul ni sa ra mu ro du lyo so
sa gwi o sum me so
i rok he to dul go i so

ni ga ma ji mak
sa rang i ni ka
da shin mot man nal sa rang
ba ro no ni ka
na rul wan song hal sa ram
pyong seng ham ke
hal gu sa ram
no rul bon sun gan
ba ro gu sun gan i mi
a ra su ni ka

i bon sar me
son no pu ni ni ka
ba u ji a na do
ga sum mi a ni ka
no ya ma lo ne sa rang
pyong seng
gi da ryot don sa rang
no ha na ro do
ne gen chung bu nan sa rang
oh wo.

i je ya man nan go ra ni ka
jol de no chi myo nan
dwen dan go ra ni ka
ji gum kot nal gi da rin
un myong i ba ro no ran gol
no rul bon sun gan
ba ro gu sun gan i mi
a ra su ni ka

English Translation

Love ends, and another ends again
Sick of the repetitive pain,
I decided never to fall in love again
To stop wasting time in love

But my friend told me to try it again
Even when I was invited to come out
I wasn’t expecting anything

But as soon as I saw you
As if I’m possessed, I’m asking you out to date me without a reason, like this

Cause you’re my last love
Cause you’re the love that I will never meet again
You, who will complete me and be with me forever
You are the person who will embrace all my pain

Cause I know I finally met you
Cause I know I should never let you go
You are the fate that I’ve been waiting for till now
I knew it the moment I saw you

When I’m next to you, even forever isn’t enough
I want to be with you from this moment
I want to make you laugh with my words
Knock on your heart
Make me your person
And wanna date you
That’s why I’m talking so much like this

Cause you’re my last love
Cause you’re the love that I will never meet again
You, who will complete me and be with me forever
You are the person who will embrace all my pain

Cause you’re the only one in this life
Even without learning, my heart knows
You’re my love, the love that I’ve waited for my whole life
You alone is enough love for me

Cause I know I finally met you
Cause I know I should never let you go
You are the fate that I’ve been waiting for till now
I knew it the moment I saw you

Because of you,i just found my true happiness within you.All i can do is just wait.^^

Good mood

Today my mood swings till the peak of happiness.

Feel's great today coz something good had happen

 and

 i feel something different from someone.

I want everyday to be in this kind of mood

coz it makes me feel very comfortable

PLS GOD,MAKE HER TO FEEL AS THE SAME AS MINE..

或许

或许有一天
我会拥有

等到那一天的到来
我要好好的珍惜
我会爱护她
不会有让她胡思乱想的杂念
让她觉得很有安全感

但
可惜的是
她不知道
我会这么做
她更不知道
久而久之，
我们的关系会只是停留在朋友的阶段，
因为她不曾想过进展。

或许我只能接受，
对，我只能接受。。
因为这样我才能给到她真正的开心。。

就是要让她开心，一切都是值得

random

Today,i have a very strong missing feeling to her.And i don't know why.Guess this is how should it be when something call "different".

I read her blog today.I just realized something after she mentioned it.I knew,I am not comfort enough,not even close to have a comparison with him.He is good,better than me in studies,and even friendly than me.He knows when she sad,sick and even take a good care of her.She told me what if one day she was touched by his mighty care and concern and accept him,i just replied her one statement,i maybe not know whether she will or not,all i know is i just want to do my best to care for her.If one day she accept him,that's mean i had done my best and yet is not better than him,and i will not regret on anything.I know i had done many stupid things and make u feel that i am not that good.sometimes i also hate myself.

There's a statement from my friend:''If you love someone,not neccessary you need to have her in person,as long her heart is always a space for your love,is already enough for the person who love her."This is very true coz this already happen on me.Not even realized,i had fall in love on her.I did not tell her about this matter coz I don't know whether she even have a like on me.So I just keep it inside my heart,and because of that statement,i believe that for what i had done,is always a good thing for her and absolutely not to harm her.I don't want to repeat my mistake and force her.This time i want to learn how to respect other's people decision even though the final result is a NO.I know maybe i really not even can be in the comparison with him,and i know she should deserve the best,but i already did my best as all i could.Depends on her how she felt about her choice and feel,and all i can do is wait.

Hot

Today,

very strange feeling...

keep thinking of her

once i woke up...

just can't figured out why...

very hot day today,

just keep drinking water..

still,

i'm back to my hometown

gonna get myself suit to my hometown for one month

after that

2nd SEM will start

Far away

Walk a thousand miles
Just to see her
But she's far far away
And i'd do anything just to see her face
But she's far far away
Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again

The end of first semester of my UNI life

Yesterday was my last day in my first semester of my UNI life.Along these few months in UPM,i had get to know a lot of friends and coursemates,especially G12 members.I am so lucky that i get into kolej 12.All of the members and blockmates were very nice.Then i get to know her(Mis Lazy Bum) in this UNI,she is one of my most miracle friends,i never expect i will meet her in UPM.Last time i remember i only get to know her by facebook conversation,but when i was associated with her,i just found out her personalities.And i am very grateful coz i had met her.Thank god.

The end of first semester,i want to thank my roommate,Kok Siang,G12 members,coursemate and other UPM friends.Is very nice to meet you all,and see you all in next semester.Take care guys...

one unlucky incident

Today,I had the final revision with them for the last day before exam.They told me that they were so nervous and worried coz they think they might forget everything when in the exam.I just told them that don't panic and trust themselves.At the same time,i had my revision on biology.

But sad thing happen today,and i am really really stupid and regret.Today i was careless and forgot to bring my cellphone and umbrella when we stopped for break.Suddenly heavy rain just poured out from the sky and i was stucked in the middle of the rain.I had waited for a while for the rain to retreat however,the rain just keep fell down from the sky.Then,i did not saw clearly whether is it she crossing over on the other road,so  i just quickly rushed out in the middle of the rain.When i reached to the study place,my friends told me that she went down to give me umbrella.I was totally down and blamed myself of my stupidity.When she went up,she just told everyone:Next time i won't be so stupid go down to pass the umbrella.".I totally become more down after i heard she speak in that way.I was emo+ing whole day after that.

Today,i had told her how i feel towards her.She told me that i not care enough.And she asked me what if one day she was touched by his full care and concern.I just told her i will respect her choice and i have nothing to regret.But now i will try to let her know how much i care for her and at the same time i will let her know how important is she for me.Time will let me to have a change soon enough.

Pray for me,i will try my best,i promise.

Revising session

Just like yesterday,i had spent my whole day with her,but this time,the revising session had added in two more members,that is Mis Lee and Mis Kecil.The session was fun and we had a lot of chit-chatting as well.They seem very satisfied what i had told them.But for me,i was afraid i did mistake and just taught them wrong thing.At first i was thinking of teaching her alone,and when she said whether her friends can join in the revising session,i was hesitating a while because i scared if i teach the wrong thing,i will just make them into trouble.However,when i saw her expression of hoping me to teach her and her friends,i was reluctantly to reject her request,so i just agreed with her.Anyway,after the session,they commented that they were doing the tutorial because there is a "hint" beside them and that's me.I just told them that they lack of imaginary thinking and understanding toward the physics concept.

Thinking back,i remembered in the afternoon,i ask her whether is it she afraid that because i just meet her in two semester in this first year and the third semester she will move out and just don't want to express her own feeling.And she just thought that i was tired of waiting and told me i am impatient.I wasn't asking her for answer,i just asked her because of curiousity,nothing else.But she told me that she is not comfortable when she want to express something to me,and strangely she said only me will be in that way.I just think i can only wait,wait her for an answer.

But anyway,when i saw her so happy today after the revising session,i also feel relieved.Maybe others will think,i did not take physics in my course,i also did not take engineering,but i still can teach other people physics,so they will think that i am showing off and may lead other people to wrong ideas.But for me,if u asked me,i can help for sure i will help with all the knowledge i had.Whether you want to trust my knowledge or not is depend on you,because i know what i had learnt although my pointer wasn't that good and i did not manage to get an engineering course.Maybe i was born to be an engineer,but my fate wasn't turn me out to be an engineer.And i just accept my fate and i will continue the way i am.

Someday,i will have my day in my life.Just wait for that day.

Like

Yesterday,my sickness become worst after i got back from night market in the seri kembangan.It was nothing much similar compared to my hometown's night market but a narrow and crowded street.After i came back from there,my flu and body temperature worsen my mood and stamina.I was totally devasted and just laying down on my bed once i got into my room.Then after i took a shower,she replied my message.I bought one pack of kaya balls and thought of giving her to eat.Then when i met her,i just found out she was going out with "him".She told me she bought a new bracelet and when i saw it,it was colourful and joyful to see it.She told me she was stomachache and she took some pain killer,so she asked me to eat myself.But when i went back,after i ate my medicine i just slept like nobody business.

Today,i woke up late and i just quickly took my shower and went to sanggar.I did not saw the sms from her until  some time,she just asked me to come over at 11.00am but i already got it there,so i just do my revision for calculus.When she got it there,she just stared at me and i did not notice at all until she told me that just now i was very serious when doing revision.I was like :"Huh?is it?"Then i just taught her SHM and Solid+Fluids.I enjoyed to teach in physics because i like physics.And her friend seems know many things and just keep quiet when i explained.

After i took my calculus exam,i just continued to teach her and her friends physics.They are just playful coz i knew they are tired already.Then they just chit-chatting while doing the tutorial.they said this is the first time they sit down and do the tutorial,i was thinking last time when i was in form six,the exercise i do is like tonnes of them and suddenly envy them so much coz even less practise but still can manage to catch up just one lesson.After finish the tutorial then we just back to our hostel.She sent me a sms to thank me for herself and her friends.I just told her as long can help her,is nothing big deal.

In my thought,today was a good day for me coz can spend some quality time doing revision with her.If not,my whole day just wasted and doing nothing but sleeping.At least i still manage to do some revision before the exam although is quite hearteache after i just found out i have big mistake in that exam.

Emo+ing

Yesterday i was sad because of two matters:

First,

SICK DAY

suddenly get fever and flu from no where,

keep sneezing after my dinner

After dinner,whole body like burning.

WORST THING WAS

i had exam somemore.

So i did not revise much

and

just depend on my form six memory.

Second,

FRIEND'S MATTER

my friend suddenly send me a sms,

said her fatty(dog) had passed away.

Once i saw the message,i just quickly called to her and comfort her.

at first i was thinking,

she sure crying on that time,

and 

YES,

she was crying once she picked up my phone.

I totally no idea what should i comfort her,

all i know just talk craps,

i don't know whether what i had said is wisely to her or not,

what had crossed over my mind i just comfort her,

though i know is not comfort for her enough.

In the conversation once heard her crying sound,

i also feel sad for her.

Because the dog meant so much for her.

Hope she will recover from the incident and let the memories always be with her.

Be strong k??

^^

when i give up on you,

it means i really give up everything

and 

i will just give u a smile and said

IS OK

no matter what had happened and how it happened

Without you,

i still can sleep,eat even have my own life.

I don't care what had u think,

or rather said "THEY" think,

for me,is just a thought of u all

BUT

important thing is how i judge myself

Thanks to one of my friends,WEE SERN..

luckily in this semester,

I have this friend by my side,

who always console and consult me

on the way to see things better

he told me that the road is not always straight

but is the way u make it become straight.

THANK YOU MY FRIEND,

YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND I HAD IN THIS LIFE.

Caring

Today just had my ISLAMIC FINAL TEST,

two words can describe my performance today,

"VERY SUCKS"

Haiz,

sad sad

Today while during the conversation,

she said that i am not caring enough.

Hmm,

I was thinking that if i over caring,

exact thing will happen again as last time

coz we are still friends right now.

Unless a further relationship has happen,

I will just able to do so.

I don't want later will bring a lot of trouble to her.

So very sorry if my impression to u is still not caring enough,

coz i can't and is not i don't want.

Exam fever

today is the last day i can rest before my first final exam start.And my first exam will be organic chemistry.I just don't figured out why i just can't scored my first two test in organic chemistry,till today i just found out why.

NOT ENOUGH REVISION!!

at least today i had revised most of the organic chemistry chapters and memorize quite some of the important organic reaction.Hopefully tomorrow's test will not disappointed my effort for these few day's revision.

But i scare one thing might happen again and it is terrifying me all my life.HISTORY AND ISLAMIC FACTS is killing me.I just don't know why,once i open my TITAS book,i just cannot focus,i'm not sure whether is because of too many words and i don't like it,or is because i'm a person who do not like to read.But luckily,these few days revision and some few general questions had ease my phobia a little bit but anyway,i still feel a bit afraid of what i had read will not be tested in the exam because all the way after first test,i did not even touch on my TITAS revision and i had promised myself that next semester university course cannot be in that way anymore because i will be taking two memorizing subjects:kenegaraan and pertanian.

YES,i tell myself:ADD OIL coz first semester will be ended in few more days.