Christmas holiday

I just had a three-days holiday in KL,where i stayed at my cousin's house for the first time.I had done lot of shopping stuffs in KL where i went to Times Square,S.Wang,Pavilion,1 Utama and finally Mid Valley.The results were fascinating coz i got myself to buy a few clothes.But this was not the important thing i got from the holiday.

What i get from this holiday was very precious for me and is important for me to do any further decision on my future.My family and my cousin's family were chit-chatting about my future and my cousin's family members' performance.I was staying at my second uncle's son's house.This is the family i most admire of coz of their performance.Three kids,first one is LOGITECH manager,second is a girl and a doctor and the last one is a financial marketer.The first one just got himself a daughter and he is very happy.The doctor,already engaged since few months and will get married after she get her final paper as approved doctor.Her fiancee is a chemist,just like me.Both of them are my inspiration to my future.

One thing i admire and inspired the most from the doctor is she is so consistent in her studies and relationship eventhough she was studying in SABAH last time.And what i get from the talk is not everything goes smoothly as we want.For sure there will be crest and through all the way,it depends on how you manipulate the way u gonna pass through all those crest and through.And that is my challenge for me right now and my future.One more thing my uncle told me is that I must confirm really what i know in my future and manage my future relationship well,not only in family but with corporate also.He mentioned that the main inspiration is come from parents ad support from parents also.

I felt very grateful and thankful because i have the best parents i ever thought.Thanks to them,i just manage to get into primary school,secondary school and now UNIVERSITY....I know when the time when my father was comfort me during the choice of between doctor and engineer,he was sad coz i din get to choose to become doctor,sorry to tell him coz is really not my interest although the future is bright.And when the time i get the current course but not engineer,i was a bit sad but luckily i have my parents to explain to me what is the pros and cons of getting this course,and of course the best part was,i get to know a lot of friends in my kolej coz i get this course.....

I must learn to manage something that beyond my limit.Although i had fall down once,but i'm not gonna let it to become my reason to stop right now.Hopefully that tine u can become more mature in thinking and action.

Friends

Yesterday was one of my happy day ever.Because i ate tang yuan again made by my roommate's friends themselves.Thanks to them i felt the happiness and warmness among them.Another thing was yesterday i just watched the movie "You Are The Apple Of My Eyes".Indeed,it was a touching movie when towards the end.But in this movie,the scripts that they used in this movie keeps on reminding me on what i had told her before.Is just like what the movie had copied what i had said before.And the strange thing was the scenes inside this movie is almost the same as me and her had before.

I believe she is my “沈佳宜” ,but the scenes in my world here is different from the movie.Right now,i just want to ensure that she can get good results in her final especially her physics.She was so worried on her pertanian until she don't have much time to revise on the physics properly.I tried my best to help her as i could,hope my teaching can benefit her at least a bit and lessen her burden on revising the other topics on the physics.A few days ago we had a small chat while i was teaching her physics.At least i knew that she had the feeling also,but what she said were right.We both must study hard first because the basic is our future.Cannot just waste the basic and destroy our future.All i will do is wait for her patiently and help her in her studies if she need my help as far as i could。

Thanks to her,she let me feel back the friend's warmness and the use of a friend when i need a friend.She will always be there to wish,motivate or even smile on me.I really appreciate her kindness and careness.Good luck to her final exams and wish her will have a good grade.

JUST GO FOR IT!!!!!

Final exam

Look on my final exam schedule:

Organic Chemistry:04/01

TiTas:05/01

Physical + Inorganic:09/01

Calculus:10/01

Biology:14/01

Although my schedule will not that pack,

But the arrangement is not nice

Have to rush my holiday with certain revision

Plus the first two tests are my "killing" subject...

MEMORIZING....

OH MY GOSH!!!

luckily i have plan my timetable...

and i think i can handle it....

hehe...

Sadness bring failure~~~Breathe and Glow...

I had another worst day in my world,that is yesterday.Nobody will understand how sad was I yesterday and how down was I when i was alone in my hostel room.BUT what can I do??Nothing....I was thinking just use a knife to stab into my heart or just jump from fifth floor.

Luckily,there's some friend who willing to hear from me,and i really appreciate,really....Thank you for you all.I have one friend,who are so willing enough until I haven manage to ask her to listen to my problem and she already mentioned that she willing to hear from me,really touched I have this kind of friend.But still wanna thanks to one of my friends,she really understand my situation and my mood cheer up a bit after listen to her advice and some motivation.Yes,I need some time to overcome my feeling.No one will ever know my feeling when your friends don't wanna pick up your call and don't wanna reply your sms.Maybe i deserve in such ways??I don't know.All i know right now is I need to set a timeline for me,after this timeline,is really over for ME!Yes,IS OVER.

Anyway,yesterday talk to my mum again,she said she long time did not go out gai gai since i was small last time.She said not convenient to bring me out coz i always very annoyed.Sorry for my innocent and my naughty mummy,cause you and daddy don't have two people world time after had me.But i will go for christmas celebration this sunday by coming to my cousin's house in KL...Yeah,can buy my new year clothes,shoes.If can,next year i want to change one new spec,i want to change myself in order to prove myself  that i don't need "them" i still can be friends with others.At least my old school friends like Mr.Alien,Mr.Michael Jordan,Mis Fatty and Nerd these three are the person who i remember the most in my form 6 time,and some others still very concern of me,but for those,sorry if i have to ignore you.

Last week before final,few reports and revision need to be done soon,but i already in NEW YEAR mood...haha....

心情

心里下着的那一场大雨，

有谁会明白？？

我很辛苦，

或许这是你对我的惩罚。。

我想我应该做的东西，

就是放开一切。

但是我不想。

因为我就是不想。

我好想躲在床里，

好好的大哭一场。

因为我不够坚强。

我的苦衷，

有谁会明白？？

每个人都叫我不要在缠着她，

但。。。

算了吧，

我怎样做现在都是给人家烦感。

就学着保持沉默。

Good

Today i feel great no matter how i acted,i just can't found a reason for me to become sad.But i realized i worried someone when i was in the dancing class.I just don't know why and it just happen in such way.Until today she ask me whether i got worried about her safety.Of course i had if not i won't have such worries yesterday.But i was thinking she asking me something else,luckily i just realized after she mentioned it.

I think we are quite comfortable in such way when we meet.Not so frequently and just through messages.I asked her one question twice but both time also no reply.I guess she don't want to answer this question.At least i know now that is no more so called "harm" are existing anymore.I just want to have a normal way to meet her,chat with her and of course in future,maybe can just have the normal way to have relationship,who knows??But i don't expect much because i don't want to have another same mistake like last time.

I just afraid to anything further than this right now.I just keep my way from her as long no more harm and she is happy with that way.Yesterday,my dancing class monitor ask me how was me and she?i just answer her,nothing happen to both of us.By the way,at that time i just think of when i saw she is happy like last time during celebration.

Anyway,i feel happy today when i chat with my mum again.My mum tease me somemore,but i feel comfortable when i heard her laughter.I also went to the book fair to choose one book for my sister as christmas present but unfortunately nothing is bought because is not suitable at all.

I want to be more happy than yesterday.Jia you!!!!

Evolution

Is almost 2am from what i can see from my table clock,but i just can't sleep today.When i turn on my korean song playlist,i just choose on BIGBANG song,"tell me goodbye".This song is sang in Japanese version,i just keep repeating the song,then i just realized i already EMO+ing,because this is a love song.This song was mentioning that the narrator love a girl but the girl left the narrator without saying goodbye.The narrator just expressing the feeling of losing the girl.I just can't stop myself from playing this song.

This was reminded by one of my friend's status.And what i was reminded is the conversation between me and her.My friend was right,let the bygones be bygones,because there is nothing i can do right now.It is impossible for me to go back like those days.So my blog will always be the best place for me to say anything i like.I suddenly realized that actually i had a lot of new friends and friends who are still remember me and always be there for me when i need them.Thank you for the concern from each one of you these days,especially one of my friend in Melaka,who study in UUM right now,she is really my BBF and i won't forget her no matter how.

Memories are used for the reflash,but never let yourself to stay in the past memories.I must evolve from the past in order to change myself,that is the only way i can do to prove myself i already become mature,not only just study but also developing my social life.Right now,i have bunch of new friends who are understanding me,concern me and always be there for me no matter what.Plus I have my own lifestyle to study and go for activities,especially just develop my new interest,DANCING!!!

About "her' and me,i think the way i socialize with her now is better than last time,at least a bit better.Right now i just know something call freedom or space to view the aspect of socializing.I remind myself do not expect too much from her and just be normal although many people are saying something which is not real at all.Only she and me know the truth,so just let it be until the day has come.

I must be happy so that i won't let myself just drop into some place i never recognize myself anymore.