relationship

Today i had a enough sleep until 1pm just now because is really a tired nap for me.I don't know what kind of feeling i should have right now.I really confused right now.Confused not because i'm not sure on what i want to have,is confused on what feeling should i have to face the reality.I need someone who can console my sorrowness,my loneliness and my sadness.I can't just put it down like this although i had said so in previous post.I really can't.

Facing her,i don't know should be just friends or just another special relationship with her.Because i know what i want,so i don't want to make any mistakes.Sometimes,feeling this kind of thing is always playing with us.When you don't want to think about it anymore,suddenly there's a miracle happen again in front of you.

Currently,what i had done now,i think is quite ok for her and me also.Plus,i can see that somebody is more popular than me among the choices,so i guess right now i'm not a problem anymore to her and this is a relieve for me.Hope that the pace now will keep maintain.I found out that she is keep thinking my feeling just temporary,i wonder why she will keep thinking like that.Maybe because she didn't want this kind of thing happen at all,or she just can't accept the fact that she has the feeling also?i don't know at all,all i know is i should keep a distance with her for now for not harming her at all.That is the most important.About the feeling,i just keep inside my heart first so that she happy and i am happy also.

One day in Mid Valley

Thanks to friends who willing to accompany me come out to have fun although tomorrow still have the mega project to busy with/I have a lot of fun today and already ate+done many food and activities.I ate korean food,snowflakes,go for movie,go for bowling and many more.My friend also taught me how to have a meal like those korean they have their meal.Overall,today was a good day for me and i really appreciate my friend's help and guide to Mid Valley.Here are some pic,just enjoy:

 taking photo with the special decoration in Mid Valley

 that's me

 me and my friend.thanks to her

 korean food.I like it very much

 rice cake(korean)..strongly recommend

 korean style sotong

 guess wat is this??

 My high tea(big apple donuts)

Is my snowflakes.(is soya bean series)nice nice..first time eat...

This is my dinner....nice nice

Very fun and tired.I hope next time "she" will come with me also...SO that next time i will also have fun again with"her".....

regret??

Yesterday have another chat topic with her.I told her as long she did not regret then is OK for me.She mentioned that i am really important.Then i told her something that made her to think something else.She said she wanted to do in years which made me cannot think of what is that about.Anyway,i wasn't forcing her to do anything,as long she is happy and she din regret,that is fine for me.

I just wanted to see her happy always....really wanted her to happy..........

Fading

Today,i just had my biology test.First time i felt so happy after i took my biology test because although i studied till 3 am last night and i still manage to answer all of the question.My effort was worth for it.

Just read her blog today,feel a bit regret and cannot face the other side of me because need to give up the feeling and hide it in the other part of me.I hope she will get better and happier after all my effort to get the situation right again.Of course i will always be her friend,but she also knows that i not only wanted to be just friends.However,i cannot do anything right now coz i feel that the more i done,the more harm and hurt i will cause to her,so i have to hide the feeling in sorrow.Yesterday i just found out that actually the like i have towards her is not temporarily,but all of this doesn't matter anymore,coz no matter how much i have the like on her,she won't notice also coz she just don't want to face her feeling at the same time.

So,i just take this as another short like feeling memory although is not short actually.Now as long she happy then i will be happy,that is more important.Hope she know what she is doing right now.

Everything had comes to the end

These two days,i wonder why she acted very strangely.After i read something,i just noticed she already a distance away from me.Maybe she is right,i'm just having a temporary like to her.From the beginning of the day when i enter UPM,i found out that she is a special friend for me,a friend that can have a lot of topic to mentioned.But i just realized that i can't further expand the relationship with her now,because it is quite impossible for me to do so.I don't dare to think of future relationship because now i knew that think too much will cause a lot of trouble and unneccessary rumours that might hurt everybody.So in order to not let this thing worsen,maybe she is right on keeping a distance a way from me.Therefore,i think i should prepare to keep my good feeling towards her in my other part of my soul and concentrate on my study.

Maybe my mum was right,i already destined to have my life partner after i worked.I shouldn't let go anything before this,but since decision already made,i don't want my past to become a dark shadow and haunting me everyday.And for future,i think i should keep my distance and my words to her away.Because it seems that rumours had affected her a lot.Moreover,final exams are around the corner,I guess she and me also want to concentrate on this exam.So i think i don't want to think too much on that matter anymore,just go ahead to do what i want to do in UPM.I want to join many activities as i could if i have the good sense of time management.

My first dream is to travel to KOREA,because i love korea culture very much.Therefore,i want to get my core subjects of my course in best way in order for me to learn the KOREA language in third year without any worries.Hopefully my first dream will come true.....

Worth day

Today,it was one of my most memorable day.Although today i am physically tired,but i never regret for doing this.Actually,tomorrow will be her birthday,but i had celebrate with her early.Today,i had my koku session at 12p.m.I ended my session on 3pm and then suddenly i got a call from her.She said she want to go back hostel to  take something before went for the audition.In my heart i was like OK,coz since i also want to go back to take something,i just go back take something and accompany her to went to the audition place.After i get back,i just quickly had a bath and changed my attire.When she saw me,she said i'm look different than other time and she also want to change her attire too.I told her she already perfect with that attire but in the end,she still change it.Then we just go to the audition place and i just waited her at outside.

After that,we just went for the PLAN that she had suggested yesterday,that is go to THE MINES to get a new spectacles for her.I just followed her to the place.But then i already planned to celebrate her birthday today at that place.And she knew it too,so when arrived at there,i just went to search for the cake shop.We had chose a banana chocolate and went for PIZZAS.We ate two regular pizzas but not managed to finish it,so we just packed them up to bring back.Then it was celebration time and we just celebrate.I took some photos and she is very happy.She keep said thank you to me and i also very "paiseh",dunno why.After that we just go for the spec shop.She chose a new type of her new spec but i think every spec is also match to her coz face is pretty,every spec will be match to her pretty.After finish getting a spec,we just took a walk around THE MINES before it stopped operating.After that we just took the cab back to UPM.

So overall,i am very happy for her and she is also happy.Is worth for me to do this.Just now when i called her back,she said thank you again to me but i told her she is welcome.Haha.....But one thing i not quite comfortable is what other people think of me on the way i socialised with her.And yes,it seems that i'm quite troublesome and not really giving her any space to do her stuff.I should give her some space to do something else,not just meeting her and troublesome her.Because i don't want to burden her anything.I dun need other people to judge the way i socialize with other people,i only care what she think of my way to socialize.Even though other people dun want me to succeed,i also feel never mind,coz even i din succeed,at least i still have her as my friend.So is not a big deal of succeed or not.I just want to see she is happy always and not putting the sad face in her expression.So i told her what is my wish in the call for her 20th birthday.Hope she will remember.

Ok lar,is time to sleep.Bye...

random

Today,i just got back my calculus test 2 paper.I thought this time my calculus paper will be a disaster because i did not really have a look on the theory part.Luckily i had a good MATH tutor in FORM SIX and his notes help me a lot in my calculus paper,so i still remember what should be done in the calculus question.Thanks to him and my calculus test 2 is safe and i quite satisfied by the result.But what make me feel sad is last test i study a lot but i did not get the marks i wanted,strange thing is i did not study this time can get higher marks than test 1.When he announced that our performance is poor,i already knew the day will come but luckily i still manage to survive.....haha...

Yesterday,i had dance practise.RX had teach us some new steps and i learned it quickly.I feel very happy in every dance practise because i can learn new dance steps.Somemore the dance camp is near too...I am looking forward to the dance camp in February next year coz my dancing class monitor said the dance we are going to learn in the dance camp will be the dance in next year dance concert.Once i heard it,i become more happy coz finally can perform for next year dance concert.I will learn it by all my heart till flawless.

Tomorrow,she will go for the lawatan to the orang asli place.Either go to Klang or Ampang,she told me depends on situation.She ask me whether i want to come along at first,but she seems like want to retreat what she had spoken.Anyway,if she allow me to go,of course i will go coz all of of her group members are girl,so is better there is a boy following for the lawatan.

Smile always...hehe